The formation of a natural pearl begins when a foreign substance slips into the oyster between the mantle and the shell, irritating the mantle. Kind of like the oyster getting a splinter!
The oyster’s natural reaction is to protect itself so it covers the irritant with layers of the same nacre substance used to create the shell. This forms a pearl. Guess what? We’re the same.
We have an irritant (pain), our heart’s natural reaction is to protect itself so we build layers around our heart – not letting anyone in, causing pain to ourselves. Imagine having a room like that in your house, it’s dark and dingy so no light gets in, it’s never cleaned, and it’s locked down tight.
Shutting down doesn’t only keep people out, it keeps ourselves locked in! Maybe as a child we felt unloved, unwanted; maybe we were abused; maybe our heart was broken etc. Eventually, our internal pain forces us to look within so we can begin to heal. Everything comes to pass – not everything comes to stay, an important saying in these increasingly changing times.
Clarissa Pinkola Estes, one of my favourite authors, speaks of childhood pain as being like writing with a fountain pen on cheap paper; the ink feathers and spills out around the edges of the words. She says childhood wounds are the same; they spread out and when they are not dealt with, they stop us from living fully.
The inner part of trees have to strengthen up to keep alive through winter. Humans who’ve been hurt put their toughness outside and tenderness inside. We all know people like that, tough, untouchable outside but whose tender insides ache to be loved, touched and held. We need to be like trees, wear our strength inside and keep the softness outside.
Love never hurts, only our resistance to love hurts!
There are few “functional” families…. Why? Because lessons come through our life experiences. Babies are like sponges. Parents can’t give 24 hours a day, so babies close down a bit, life moves on, scars deepen. Scar tissue is very strong, far stronger than normal skin, so our wounds actually make us stronger.
Whatever was inflicted by someone else, is yours now! What happened as children, needs to be dealt with in adulthood, because if not, it’ll come back repetitively… like Groundhog Day. Until we heal the children we used to be – we can’t be the adults we want to be… so how???
1. Admit the truth about what isn’t working, e.g. I’m not loved, appreciated etc. Maybe you’re in a job or a relationship that isn’t “it”. Look at all aspects of your life, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Write it all down.
Take steps to change what you can, right here and right now.
2. Understand, until you bridge the gap between your conscious and subconscious mind, nothing changes. Writing affirmations repeatedly doesn’t work if your subconscious isn’t ready to accept them. The LifeLine Technique and kinesiology determine if the subconscious is able, ready, willing, safe, etc to accept the intention. Most times, it isn’t! We change that and hey-presto, the body accepts it. “I am worthy, feeling loved and cherished” in the present but what about the past? If you don’t deal with it, it will come up and bite you when you least expect it. Work with present, past and future to bridge that gap, so you can thrive.
I have attended and run thousands of workshops for over fifty years and the only way to heal is to do the work on yourself. You can’t get it from books, although they help; you have to find a mentor, or workshop (or 2, 10, or 100) so you keep peeling off layers of the onion, so eventually, you will feel whole and your heart will feel safe. Stuff still happens for me, as it does for everyone, but the difference is it doesn’t happen often, and I catch myself before or immediately after and I have the tools to change it.
50 years ago I was so miserable I decided to drive my car into a steel telegraph pole because it was all too hard. Luckily I pulled over, shaking. I got out of the car and walked a bit and on the next stobie pole was a sign that said “Want to Heal Your Life?” with a phone number so I tore off the little strip and phoned. That was my first introduction to Conscious Connected Breathing or Rebirthing as it used to be called and a few years later I become one of the original seven people who wrote the first constitution for the Rebirthing community.
Nowadays people can’t believe that I once thought about suicide, they tell me how lucky I am to do what I love (teaching/working with people all over the world) but it isn’t luck. I was so miserable for so long, I hated myself so much that I just decided to do whatever it took to bring about changes. I wanted a life filled with peace and miracles and now I have that… but it didn’t magically happen. I have spent much time (and money!!) working on myself than anyone I know and you know what? It was worth every cent I spent, every tear I cried, every pain I felt because here I am now; filled with a sense of awe at my life, especially at my relationship with myself!
I leave you with one wish, that you too make the decision to do the work, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually because, doubtless you are a Lightworker and therefore deserve to live an abundant life so you can better serve the world.
When I see anger out there I know there is some in me and likewise when I see love I know that’s also in me. Time to be gentle with ourselves, to remember the truth of who we really are… each one of you (and me) are divine magnificent spiritual beings, here to love, be loved and be of service.
Blessings…may your life be filled with miracles, magic and healing. Breathe that in, then breathe out the same, to fill the hearts, minds and souls of those you touch. This is the only way to peace.
It all begins within each one of us, so keep your beautiful hearts open and be grateful for the pain that caused you to do the work to allow your light to shine brightly into the world.
Diane McCann is the facilitator of The Goddess Within and Tantra for Couples.
