1. Fixing it with your father – your father is your emotional line of contact to your masculinity. You have to work toward a clear and resolved relationship between you and him. You cannot cope with your life successfully until you have understood him, forgiven him and in some way come to respect him.
2. Finding sacredness in your sexuality – you have to find out how to not just be comfortable, but transformed and fulfilled in your sexuality. Sex will either be a sleazy obsessive part of your life or a sacred and powerful source of your wellbeing. First you must relocate your sexual energy in yourself instead of giving it away to women. Then learn the dance of the male and female.
3. Meeting your partner on equal terms – anyone can get a partner, the trick is to keep them. To do this you must learn to meet your partner as different but equal. This means respecting your partner but respecting yourself also. You will need to be safe with communicating.
4. Engaging actively with your kids – You can’t parent from behind a newspaper and you can’t leave it to your partner because women don’t have what it takes to role model a man to a child.
5. Learn to have real male friends – get emotional support from other men and find out how to complete your own initiation into manhood. All men need the help of other men to complete certain transitions as well as just having a richer life.
6. Find your heart in your work – You need to find work you believe in so that the time and energy you spend working is spent in a direction where your heart lies. It isn’t enough to just make a living. The real work of men is to support and protect life and build toward a better world. If you don’t love it, eventually it could slowly kill you.
7. Free your wild spirit – You need to find a spiritual basis for you inner life that is specifically masculine and based in nature, something that connects you with the earth.
– Stephen Biddulph, from his book, Manhood